Philip Glass is a talentless hack who knows very little about of music. He composed all of these from his Jail Cell (Nicknamed the John Cage) at age Fourteen. Little is known about him, and he influenced nobody. Here, he displays why he is the king of emotive hardcore. Watch you moshers! None of these tracks will stain his reputation. Get it? Stained Glass?! Not a single bad track. Only the hits. Classic Reggaeton. Halie Selasie I!? (This is a result of my 150th Philip Glass track review this month, the only thing I've done more of is sex)


1- gorgeous solo piano ballad, rising and falling etude of impeccabbly delicate timing, counterpoint, and hypnosis. you can make someone fall in love with you by playing this in their presence and giving them a rose.

2- short music box interlude, from candyman, eerie, childlike, from a cradle. a lullaby or a nightmare, you decide?

3- funky, fun, kind of skronky, but playful rhythmic saxophone quartet pattern. you need more sax quartets on your show.

4- emotive synth and strings bit, with emphatic downer chord and cheeseflute for film music purposes. i can't tell you how many fucking time's i've heard this violin pattern, sure its beautiful, but philip glass is often guilty of ctrl + c, ctrl + v in film scores

5- delicate solo piano interlude, with a higher pitched melody, lots of space. a tear jerkingly beautiful quality recording + mastering job.

6- menacing tom thud, war music, short punctual flute, dramatic string swells. a eulogy, perhaps?

7- pulsing string and wind piece, with a buzzing, disorienting mathematical urgency. every instrument is individually and collectively beautiful in this medium ensemble. a gorgeous classical music hit single.

8- slow downer solo piano piece with emotive shreds of hope in a single high key. and unexpected sudden rushes of speed breakneck.

9- urgent tom thodding of war classical music thunder, hammered bells, glockenspeil and all. an adrenaline rush. makes me think i'm a medieval knight.

10- eerie synth, flute, "the chase," sounds like it's from a horror movie, until the warmer strings ease the about halfway through. still makes my skeleton shiver.

11-totally out of place techno remix of philip glass, arpeggiated riff is okay, but the beat leaves a lot to be desired. fart. three thumbs down on this being included alongside twenty works of genius.

12-gorgeous treated psychedelic chanting vocals w/ shimmering synthesizer arpeggios and pulses. an all time favourite of mine. when it all comes together, this is one of the greatest bliss outs in music history. if you like the cocteau twins, this will blow your mind.

13-rising and falling piano line w/ perfect orchestral punctuation. warm, full eared sound, really moves, a nebulous communication of something dramatic. picks up speed.

14- total doooooooooooooooom drone, w/ eerie piano keys giving way to female soprano. strap in for this one, from the witches of venice, this is creeeeeepy.

15- philip glass's signature solo piano riff for selling expensive jewelry, adapted for a dracula spoundtrack

16- pulsing tribal drums, staggering chants, daed pharoh music, "funeral of amenhotep iii"

17- warm shimmering strings and winds, running through a mountain field, flowing, "a drive in the country"

18- headiest schizophrenic ghost voices the coolest female vocal choral pattern i've ever heard, massive orchestral drones, eerie undertones, cryptic sctructure,

19- short classy court waltz interlude, old regal stlying

20- film cheese. sad reflective piano work, w/ swelling string undetones for somebody to act like they're crying.

21-blazing psychedelic hyperfast trippy ultra-crescendo scene from koyannisqatsi (the greatest music video of all time), everything i love about philip glass is featured in this piece.