Hate Crew Deathroll

Children of Bodom – Hate Crew Deathroll (Century Media Records)
Metal! No, seriously. Metal! Make no joke about it, that’s what this is, and it’s so pretty in its ugliness. It’s entirely pretentious and overblown and cheesy and just downright silly, but that’s what makes it so good. Gruff/growled vocals, dual guitar harmonies, kick-ass rhythm section, and some keyboards that’ll make you laugh. Seriously, the keyboard work sounds like something out of the Super Mario Bros. videogame series. It’s ridiculous. Every song has a lead break or two, every song has a keyboard lead, and every song has some supposed atmospheric keyboard work, but really, they’re just bad MIDI files. Nonetheless, these guys don’t seem to get the joke, and they are kinda vicious and brutal, so beware. Also very technical, and some people would even make an argument that these guys are progressive. I’m just too busy laughing seeing them fall prey to every classic metal cliché in the book.
Tracks:
1) FCCs
2) Start with a good groove and some guitar squeals before turning into a cool thrasher. Gang vocals, keyboards, cheesy lyrics (“Six Six Six!”), cool solos.
3) Slow, scary intro and then pinch harmonics launch into some ATG worship, and then more gang vocals and horrendous keyboards with ultra-cheesy solos. Shit, there’s even a keyboard solo.
4) More groove to start things out, but it’s rendered pointless by the keyboards and the ridiculous solos (which are pretty technical, I must say).
5) Another cool intro, and the keys actually work here, they give it a little bit of a gothic feel. Which fits this one fine since it attempts to be a ballad. I like this one more than the rest since the keys only get annoying towards the end…
6) …unlike this one, where the keys are a pain from the first second. Ugh. But the riffing is great!
7) FCCs.
8) Good song, really good song, but easily predicted FCC at –2:20 (he says “Goodbye, motherfuckers!”).
9) FCCs. Don’t you dare play this track, it’s filthy! Dirty! Not even all that good.